Hoorah! I actually seduced you through my
cold email to click on my comically crap website. 🎉

You’re probably thinking one of 3 things right now:1) "Yeah, this site is absolutely attrocious, Marcus"
2) "Can he not even afford $100 to pay a web designer?"
3) "Okay, I’m somewhat intrigued. What can this guy actually do for me?"

Hopefully, it’s the latter that’s on your mind - so let me answer that.For the last 4 years, I’ve been helping coaches, consumer brands and agencies extract
more moolah from highly conversational and storydriven email copy.
And if you're reading this, it means I'd like to help your brand accomplish the same.Stuff that cuts through the inbox noise… commands attention… and gets stuff sold.But rather than blabbering on about what I’ve done, let’s just roll out the sexy bullets:• Helped generate over $5M in email sales for 7-8 figure DTC brands• Created fiercely loyal fans that come back time and time again• I use ultra personality-driven campaigns that have sold
camping gear to Nootropic supplements, to private part shavers
• And currently In the top 0.8% of ALL copywriters on Upwork
(kinda my subtle flex)
Still not convinced?Cue General Patton’s orders:

37%+ of email revenue attributed
to a new Men's luxury belt brand in the first 30 days

$1000s routinely generated for 7-8 figure D2C brands

$1000s made for brands form
personality-driven emails that STAND OUT and SELL

$34,000+ made in just 5 days for a popular videoediting SaaS brand (Viddyoze.com)

$14,000+ in the ONE day for micro
Twitter influencer's first product launch through his list

Top-rated plus on Upwork
with 30+ glowing reviews

See how I've helped Thomas from Ecombrands.co
grow his email list to routinely hit 5-fig months

What do I offer?

👉 Email Campaign Copy
👉 Flow & SMS Copy
👉 Landing Page Copy

To not run the risk of making this dire website into
some biblical scroll... let’s get on with the part where you book a call, shall we?
Hint hint nudge nudge ;)If any of what you’ve read has piqued your interest,
either shoot me a reply to the email I sent you…
Or cut out the middleman and book a call with me below.

Pinky promise I won’t hard sell you on anything in the call.
I’ll just see where you’re at, and if what I do will benefit your brand.
Might even tell you my lamest dad joke I know if you’re lucky.Ciao, MarcusGrowthGoose / Above average copywriter / comically bad designer

(Insert ultra-'professional' picture of me pretending to be busy)